The Monkey

Tue 10.05.10 | 3 comments

I was in Colorado this past weekend, attending the wedding of my dear cousin, Phil. More on that next week. This sparked memories of a wedding I attended about 3 years ago.

In 2007 my cousin, John, was getting married in New York City. Thanks to my aunt’s wallet, I was able to stay at a quaint and quiet hotel in one of the nicer parts of the city. The room was small, but it had access to a courtyard containing a stone path that circled a small tree that was surrounded by lush, green ivy. There was also a foot-high stone wall. On this stone wall was a white, porcelain statue standing at about a foot and a half high. The statue glowed in the moonlight, like a warning light advising all who see it to stay away. In the morning, I wandered out into the courtyard to discover the face beyond the glow: the Monkey.

White Monkey #1

The next night, I came back to my hotel room thoroughly tipsy after the wedding. With two younger brothers and a couple of cousins in tow, we sat around making noise and chatting. I sat in the courtyard with my cousin, Lou, enjoying the cool October air. Without warning, Lou stood up from his chair, and with a twinkle in his eye, began kicking the Monkey. When the Monkey fell off the wall it was revealed to be hollow. Lou lifted the Monkey by its base and threw it at the small tree. The Monkey hit the bark with a dull “thunk,” and it dropped into the ivy. Lou was not satisfied.

White Monkey #2

While I was in an inebriated rant about the “poor monkey,” Lou was winding up like he was preparing for the Olympic hammer throw. He scuffled through the ivy, did a full 360 degree spin, and let loose his grip on the Monkey. The little porcelain fellow impacted on the tree, shattering into a million jagged pieces, like an oversize eggshell. Being “under the influence,” the commotion was too much for me to bare and I ran back into my room screaming like a maniac. The Monkey was destroyed.

Below is the last known photo of the Monkey before its demise.

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    • Lou (the cousin) done said:

      I did enjoy this one…but I felt like the sympathy for the monkey was a little over-saturated. It almost seems like I destroyed the monkey without purpose or motive. That monkey cursed me. Every wedding I’ve gone to since, I get injured…. And I’m totally blaming that on the “poor” monkey. (My wrist is feeling much better, by the way.)
      If I could curse the monkey back, I would, but it’s too late…it had to be destroyed.

      • HP done said:

        The Monkey is a tragic figure, as classically outlined by Shakespeare or Alan Moore.

    • Melanie done said:

      I hope I never see this god forsaken monkey again. Ever.

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