Lumumba, My Supervisor

Mon 06.27.11 | 2 comments

Last week, we talked about when I met Lumumba.

My final year at the Zoo, Lumumba had risen to the rank of Green Shirt. In his over-sized, dull-green shirt, Lumumba was now a Supervisor. “Supervising” at the Zoo boiled down to smoking a cigarette under the tree in the employee area, telling Maroon Shirts to continue circling the garbage cans until they filled up enough to justify removing the bag.

On a particularly slow day, the sun was beating down on the Warehouse and Maintenance team. While we sat under the tree, ‘Mumba decided to tell us the story about one of the guys who tried to kill him.

One of the Guys Who Tried to Kill Lumumba in New York

Lumumba was living in New York City. What he was doing there, he never said. How long he was there, he didn’t mention. At some point, Lumumba might have owed a Guy some money. Lumumba insisted that the Guy was mistaken. Or perhaps Lumumba slept with the Guy’s girlfriend, wife, sister, or daughter? The details were a little fuzzy, but they didn’t matter. All that matters is that in the end, the Guy was pounding on Lumumba’s front door with a pistol strapped to his waistline. The Guy was now a Guy with a gun.

Lumumba lived on the 2nd floor of an apartment, his living room window overlooking the front door. Being the charming fellow he is, Mumba threw out a couple insults, likely about the Guy’s mother. This kept the Guy with a gun pounding at the front door. The Guy wasn’t the only one packing heat, as Lumumba had the stove running. On top of the stove was a pot of Vaseline. Lumumba stalled the Guy with a gun long enough to bring the Vaseline to a boil. When it began to bubble, he casually took the pot off of the stove, through the living room, and poured it out the window.

The Guy with a gun is now know as the Buddy in the burn ward.

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    • Chris done said:

      Holy crap. I hope you have more of these coming!

    • Sarah done said:


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