HyphenSite

graphic design, comics, photos, movies, hip hop, & things that don't matter

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J. Edgar Hoover Says…

Mon 11.15.10

I’ve been working on a fairly major project since April, so posting design work online has had to take a back seat. It’s unfortunate, but necessary because this major project is going to knock your socks off. Anyway, here is a little something I created over the summer.

The origin of this poster is simple. I got tired of cleaning my roommate’s spit out of the bathroom sink, so I made this as inspiration. It has yet to work, but the poster is cool. An older version of this poster now sits, lamented, on my bathroom wall.

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That Bag Full of Darts We Released Into the Sky

Mon 11.01.10

There was a thick sheet of ice covering the entire yard, which shimmered in what little sunlight there was on this mostly overcast afternoon. Tristan lay on his back, groaning. I stood on the rock path, dumbfounded. Tyler just looked up.

Fifteen minutes ago, we found a helium tank outside Tyler’s bedroom. It must have been left from some gathering his parent’s had organized a few weeks back. The tank was about a quarter full, but the balloons had been used up. Tristan, Tyler, and I stood around the tank, our mental synapses firing. The obvious conclusion was to fill a big, black garbage bag full of helium and bring it outside with us. Tristan handled the tank and tied the knot tight. The bag o’ helium bounced and bobbed in his hands as we stepped out the sliding glass doors.

We made our way to Tyler’s Jetta. Tyler was familiar with navigating his frozen front yard, so he took a few steps over the ice sheet to the walking path. I took little baby steps. Tristan was unprepared and slipped on an incline; the bag o’ helium slipped from his hands. Tristan laid on the iced-over lawn, watching as the bag rose 20 feet and got stuck in a tree. Being conscious about the environment, Tyler decided that we had to get the bag down before it killed a dozen birds. We tried swatting at the bloated bag with a broom, but we only managed to graze the bag slightly. We needed another solution.

Inside Tyler’s bedroom were all sorts of weapons. He has knives in a small display case. He had katanas hanging on his wall, from when his father would visit his home in Japan. On his desk, Tyler had a blowgun and a bag of darts. Naturally, we grabbed the blowgun. Really now, who would pass up an opportunity that might actually require a blowgun?

We moved carefully back out to the tree. The hope was to puncture the bag, causing it to deflate, gently lowering it back down to Earth. However, we hit a snag. The darts were heavy enough to puncture the bag, but not strong enough to pass through – so any hole produced by the needle was plugged by the flight at the end of the dart.  In a few minutes time, we were looking at a big, black garbage bag full of helium and darts. I loaded the blowgun, took a mighty breath – the cold air stinging my lungs – then fired the fastest dart I could. This managed to blow through one side of the bag, only to get stuck in the other. At least we had a hole.

I believe the working theory at this point was that the darts would weigh the bag down. With that theory in mind, we once again began swatting at the bag with a broom. The broom finally connected with the bag, sending it sailing out from under the tree. Our theory was immediately proven wrong when the bag kept getting higher and higher. And higher.

We jumped into Tyler’s Jetta and began to tail the bag, which was becoming a black dot in the sky. We lost the bag over the high school. We promptly forgot about the entire event and went on with our lives.

This is how we released a garbage bag full of darts into the sky. Hopefully nothing was killed.

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Week for the Living Dead

Mon 10.25.10

Your sitting in your living room, watching basic cable television, as per your nightly routine. You have a loved one or pet curled up next to you on the couch. There is a noise outside; shambling, moaning. You ignore it. Must be some sort of vermin. A raccoon, maybe? Suddenly, there is a thumping outside your door. It starts off rather dull, but steady. The thumping turns into knocking turns into slamming. You wonder if your door can handle the strain. Your loved one or pet has run off. You shout for them, but the sound of moaning outside drown out your cries. You go to investigate the front door and almost puke everywhere when you find a pack of slime-coated, crusty, little ghouls – armed with an insatiable hunger. They yell out “trick or treat!” You give them some candy and return to the couch.

Halloween is in less than a week and you need to get into the mood! Deranged serial killers aside, not much says “Halloween” like zombies. There is a wealth of undead material out there waiting to pounce you, but there’s a lot of rotten stuff out there. You have less than 7 days, here is what you need to get your grubby hands on. It’s time to cram for Halloween.

Zombies, zombies, zombies, all a click away!